Blogs...

One year ago, we started our blogs separately and almost at the same time. You found a new love. I was struggling to keep mine sane. Life has been so different for the both of us. Eventually, life has it's own ways of bringing people back together. But i fell for you unknowingly. The moment you started mailing me, my heart fluttered. Then we started chatting over SMSes. A wavering heart does no one good. I almost made a certain decision but the future was just too uncertain. Maybe i should have decided back then to ease the pain of 3. Maybe. Just maybe. But there are bound to be people who are selfish. Maybe this might just be what they call as 'Karma'. But have i really paid back what i owe?

Does one really have to fear love? What reservations do we have with regards to love? When 2 people really love each other, but due to their past, be it shared or separate, do they really end up holding back? Will fear eventually break the bond that they try so hard to keep? If both will be hurt just as much when a relationship ends, then why do they still end it? Life is so complicated. I wished i knew all the answers. I wish i could help myself. But well knowing that i am no longer perfect, i no longer have the right to expect. I can only resign to fate.

Fate, i never believed in it. I always thought i had my own fate in my own hands. I decide which path i will take and how i will walk it but reality slaps you so hard in the face, you have no choice but to accept what it has for you. But it is weird how reality wakes me and yet embraces me. But who knows when it'll throw me out into the blistering cold. The daunting warmt of reality might just be the very poison that makes me cold.